This Girl's Life Part Eight
by Becci Wooster
Summary: Joey and Dawson talk over old times and their new lives.


****

We Have Forgotten  
By [Becci][1]

Disclaimer – I hereby declare that these inanimate characters are by no means creations of my imagination. I therefore disclaim any connections to the show, its crew or cast. 

Rating – R. Due to the subject. 

Summary – Joey and Dawson talk over old times and their new lives.

Author's Note – Ok, so people like this new attitude to my story – non-depressing storylines. I promise that they were not a reflection on my own state of mind. I merely wanted to provoke a reaction in the readers. And I succeeded. Oh, and I don't have extensive knowledge of Las Vegas. I've never put a foot in the USA.

Author's Note #2 – I got the medical knowledge in this from a website on the Internet. Please forgive me any inaccuracies, but I'm trying to get it right.

* * *

__

Las Vegas, August 7th, 2004

Dawson scanned the crowded bar. She wasn't in there. Where was she? Dawson felt a bubble of fear rise from his stomach to settle uncomfortably in the back of his throat. Had she gone again? She wouldn't have, would she? Knowing that that option was quite possible, he left the bar again to stand in the car lot. At least there he wouldn't have these men staring at him. He opened the heavy wooden door and there she was. She chewed her lip nervously, and smiled shyly at him. He smiled back, and they moved away from the door in order to let a biker in.

"Jo… you look…wonderful," he stuttered. It was true. She wore a short black leather skirt, a black cotton shirt that was loosely tucked in, a pair of black strappy shoes and a long black leather coat. Her hair as dark as her clothing in this light, was tied back loosely and piled in a loose bun. However, most had escaped and was trailing round her face and neck. She wore black eyeliner and dark lipstick. She smiled at his compliment, and shrugged, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah, well…your opinion of me was almost always higher than everyone else's," she replied. The implication of the word almost made Dawson remember why they'd met up.

"Look, is there anywhere we could go to talk?" he asked.

"Yeah. Have you got wheels?" she replied. Dawson nodded. The group had bought just three cars with them, but one of them was his. "Good, 'cause I haven't driven since high school," she explained.

"Then how did you get here?" he asked, confused. Joey smiled at pointed to a guy sat on a motorbike. She waved at him. He nodded, and drove off.

"That's Luke, Rob's son," she explained. "Twenty years old, acts a lot younger. Nice ass, has a thing for me," she said, her smile ever brighter. "Proposed to me on his eighteenth birthday. Cutie."

"So why didn't you say yes?" he asked.

"Because he didn't deserve to have his life wrecked," Joey said.

"I don't understand why you still say that," Dawson retorted.

"Luke is only a couple of years younger than me, but his life has been so simple. Just like yours was. I'm complicated. Along with me come confusion and disaster. He has no experience. He's better off at college than trying to understand me."

"I can tell you that's not true. I've spent the past two years at college, and I wish I could understand you. Joey, you're always undervaluing yourself. You're wonderful. Even at your worst, I love you." Joey looked up at him with vulnerability in her eyes.

"Dawson," she whispered.

"Look, here's my car. Get in," Dawson directed, embarrassed to have let that slip. Joey noticed the change of mood, and got in the car. They spent the next few minutes in silence, except for the occasional direction given by Joey.

* * *

Dawson got out of the car, and looked around. He took in the surroundings, and let out a sigh.

"Beautiful, hey?" Joey commented. Dawson nodded silently. They had driven out to the desert, and the vast expanse of sand was breath taking. They were pulled into a lay-by on the main road, but hardly a car was there. It was the perfect place to talk. 

"So…" Dawson began. Joey looked at him. 

"How's school? You must have graduated this year," she asked.

"No. I'm gonna start my senior year this fall. I took a year out after… well, I couldn't face the routine of school."

"I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't affected you like that," Joey said, looking ashamed.

"I was so hurt when you left," Dawson explained. "Bessie phoned me and said she'd had a letter. Then I found mine. Joey, why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

"Because I wasn't strong enough to do that. It would have been too painful."

"Pain? I shut myself in my room for a week. Joey, I hurt so much. Pacey, Bessie and Jen all came around trying to get me out of my room. But I wouldn't – there's always been a connection between you and my bedroom. If I left the room, it was like leaving you."

"So how did they get you out?" Joey asked, tears in her eyes.

"They had Pacey's dad come around and arrest me on some made up charge," Dawson remembered, smiling. "He took me to the station, and put me in a cell with a therapist. They left me there for four hours."

"Bet you loved that," Joey said.

"I was seeing that therapist for a year. It was only a year later that I felt I could go to school. Pacey decided to go to the Community College that year so he'd be near me if I needed him. My mum stayed in Capeside."

"I didn't meant to ruin everyone's lives," Joey said, upset at the prospect.

"You didn't Joey. My parents got back together, and remarried. Pacey worked hard that year and graduated last month with a degree in psychology. I found it difficult, but I'm functioning now. That' what this trip was about. I was proving I could be like anyone my age. We were having a boy's trip to Las Vegas to gamble and drink. Of course, it was our first night when we went into the bar."

"It wasn't easy for me either," Joey pointed out. "And at least you had people to comfort you."

"I know. And I'll never repay the people round me for that," Dawson paused, and tried to blink away the tears in his eyes. "Joey, what happened to you?"

"I left Capeside the night after Chris' party. I hitchhiked across the country, and ended up here. Like most young girls in the city for the first time, I turned to prostitution. But you already know about my saviour. I shudder to think what would have happened if it hadn't been Rob that evening. I could be dead by now. Or worse… I also went into therapy. And I learnt a lot. Dawson, I know it might not sound like a reason for doing all the things I did, but I was clinically depressed. That's why I was reacting like I did."

"Pacey guessed that about eighteen months ago," Dawson confessed. "He told me a little about depression. Are you better now?"

"Dawson, depression has no cure. I'm in control at the moment, but it could always come back. I was on anti depressants, but I had to come off them because I was getting addicted to them."

"Jo…" Dawson began.

"I know, Dawson. Who would have guessed it, eh? I was always so sure I'd get out of Capeside. Always so convinced that I deserved more than I'd been given. But I'm only human. My biggest failure has always been high expectations."

"So that's what has got us where we are," Dawson surmised. Joey nodded. "Do you mind if I ask a few questions?" 

"Of course," Joey answered.

"Were you ever planning on coming back home?"

"No. I wasn't."

"Were you ever going to contact me?"

"No."

"Did you love me?"

"Yes, Dawson. With all my heart."

"Now that we've met again, is there any chance of us being together again?"

"Dawson… no matter how much I love you, I know I'm not good enough for you. I cause you pain. And I think that it's less painful for us not to be together than it is for us to be together. I love you, honey. But I'm still self-destructive. Maybe one day… but not now."

"Jo. More than anything else, I'd like to get back in the car and drive off leaving you here. I'd like to call you all the names under the sun for doing what you did to me. I'd like to tell everyone back home what you became. But I can't. Because this is you. I love you, Joey. And no matter what happens, I always will."

"Dawson…"

"Joey, please give us another chance."

"I want to Dawson, but…"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, but…" Dawson silenced her by walking around the car and pulling her close to him. Just as she opened her mouth to object, he kissed her.

"I can't make any promises," Joey warned him.

"I won't make you," he answered, kissing her again. This time, she gave in to the sensation and responded. Their embraces came passionate, and Dawson pulled away, his lips swollen. "Joey, is there anywhere we can go?" he asked. She chewed on her read lips, and shook her head.

"I live in an apartment with two other girls," she explained. She stopped thinking, and looked at the car. He followed her glance, and raised one eyebrow.

"I'm game if you are," he said. She looked at him, surprised. He shrugged, smiling at her. She smiled back, and they got into the back seat of the car, locking the door. 

* * *

Half an hour later, the windows were misted, and Joey and Dawson bathed in the wondrous afterglow. 

"It was never like that," Joey said quietly.

"Oh, it was. At first it was," Dawson argued.

* * *

---Flashback---

__

Joey paused from her task of brushing her hair to look at her reflection in the mirror. At first inspection, she didn't look any different. The inside alterations hadn't made any impact on her physical appearance to the unsuspecting. But Joey looked closely, and could see proof of last night's activities. Her eyes were still sparkling, and somewhat more knowing. Her cheeks were rosy, partly from the excitement and partly from the shame that came with the knowledge. Last night had been her first time with him. And his first time too. It had been the right time for them both, and things had progressed beyond the usual barrier.

The ringing of the telephone interrupted her thoughts. Her cheeks flushed even more, and she answered, expecting it to be her sister, asking why she was late for work. Bessie didn't know the reason for Joey's smile or feeling of walking six inches off the ground.

"Hello?" she asked, dreading the voice that would make her sink back onto ground level.

"Hello, sexy," said a familiar voice. Joey smiled before deciding to make him feel awkward. 

"Bodie?" she said in her best impression of her sister's voice. She heard a cough, and then the phone was put down on the other end. She smiled, and hung up her phone too. Surely enough, the phone ran again a few seconds later. She pressed 'Talk'.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hi, is Joey there? This is Dawson."

"Hello, sexy," she said, laughing.

"That was you!" he cried indignantly.

"Gotcha," she admitted. "What if Bessie had answered the phone?"

"Does she know?" Dawson asked.

"No. Does your Dad?"

"I don't think he knows, but he might be suspicious. He asked why I was humming as I made him breakfast this morning."

"Dawson! You never make him breakfast! Oh God! What if he knows?" Joey cried.

"Then he'll be pleased for me. I made love to the most beautiful woman in town last night." Joey's cheeks reddened further at the compliment, but she smiled dreamily.

--End of Flashback—

* * *

Joey smiled at the memory. Seeing Dawson's questioning expression, she snuggled into his arm a little.

"I was just remembering the phone conversation after the first time," she explained. "Why didn't I remember how good it all felt?"

Before Dawson could answer, there was a knock on the window. Joey pulled her clothes over her naked body while Dawson rolled down the window a little. They came face to face with a policeman. A cross policeman.

* * *

End Of Part Eight

* * *

What do you think? Please tell me. This series is coming to an end soon, but there's already a sequel planned. This story will go on and on and on……

Becci Wooster  
[Fanfic@capeside2000.freeserve.co.uk][1]

3rd October 1999 

* * *

Back to [This Girl's Life][2]  
Back to the [Main Page][3]

   [1]: mailto:Fanfic@capeside2000.freeserve.co.uk ?subject=We Have Forgotten
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/dcfanfic_2000/links/glife.htm
   [3]: http://www.geocities.com/dcfanfic_2000/index.html



End file.
